this is so silly...what is?..
well..this life seems to be in a meticulous state of desperate happiness..
i guess this is what people say about me..
here's my story..
yea...some people questioned, why is it that i fell in love too soon..
they seem to think that i easily forget someone and easily bring some guy into my life..
well..thats not true..(in a defending tone)..
someone screwed my life..i couldnt eat..i could sleep well..and i kept crying..
is it still a bloody scene that i finally found the strength to fall in love with someone elsee in order to shift all those pain away...
i didnt ask for this lovey dovey feeling to come..its just that my bf now came when i felt disturbed..its not a matter of how fast i love someone...because what matters the most to me is that as long as im happy and as long as i know he's not a jerk...im glad to have him...
dont think or act like you're better than me...because with such negative, and repulsive thought..you are nevertheless a dorky jerk to judge me that way...
well..my rage is getting better now..at least i get to post it in this pages..
anyway...i've talked about fatness last time...i think i wanna talk about my weight again today..
gosh..i dug my cupboard just now..and i found my old t-shirt..it looked so big and i thought that i cant use it cuz it would probably fit loose on my body...but i decided to put it on anyway..
and....owh my god... what a shock...
IT wont FIT me!!!.....
god....im so sad...what seems to be big last time..turns out to be smaller this time..=((
so..this holiday..i went for yoga..=))
LetS cRasH....(0.0)
have u ever watch how children juz suddenly grow infront of ur eyes...
well.....i guess i starting to feel a lil bit old already...i have 2 nieces..marissa n elena..i love them so much...sometimes because of evolving around them too often...i felt this sudden calmness to evaluate such tendency towards children...they would snuggle near me...gave me a loving kiss and not to forget the unexpected high rate of temper....these children brought up the loving woman in me....'aida,i want susu'....n there i go making her that milk in the pink elephant bottle....'aida, sha nak wee-wee'....n there i was holding her tight when she was seated on the sitting toilet pot...'aida,..ana hungry..want aggy..'...n there i was in the kitchen cooking maggy for them.....
i wonder sometimes why kids always say the stupidest things.....
well.....i guess i starting to feel a lil bit old already...i have 2 nieces..marissa n elena..i love them so much...sometimes because of evolving around them too often...i felt this sudden calmness to evaluate such tendency towards children...they would snuggle near me...gave me a loving kiss and not to forget the unexpected high rate of temper....these children brought up the loving woman in me....'aida,i want susu'....n there i go making her that milk in the pink elephant bottle....'aida, sha nak wee-wee'....n there i was holding her tight when she was seated on the sitting toilet pot...'aida,..ana hungry..want aggy..'...n there i was in the kitchen cooking maggy for them.....
i wonder sometimes why kids always say the stupidest things.....
1)...aida,..sha nak makan 'cakang'....=i noe she meant 'kacang'...
2)..bapak,my buku 'patah'...=we all knew she meant 'koyak'..
and then...this is how elena sang 'twinkle-twinkle little star'......
2)..bapak,my buku 'patah'...=we all knew she meant 'koyak'..
and then...this is how elena sang 'twinkle-twinkle little star'......
'tinkle-tinkle-tinkle star..
howwonder what u r'
balahu nokmsdennau dada
like a damend baba sky...
tinkle-tinkle-tinkle star...'
howwonder what u r'
balahu nokmsdennau dada
like a damend baba sky...
tinkle-tinkle-tinkle star...'
owh god.....i love them..=))
from SHIT with love...
ai yai yai.....dats wat alfalfa from Power Rangers would say whenever he's lost..i mean lumpy..a.k.a..'lambat pickup'...hahahaha..
recently i spend shitloads of time with my girlfriends..its fun to know them...we joined mooting together..and even hang out until late in the morning together...
its good to have such a close relationship with friends...when i dont have the cash..they always lend me some..and vice versa.sometimes,..my heart just wants to cry.bcuz i may not know how long such friendship can last..all i can do is just to treasure every moment that passed by with it....
MIEN n FARA...
u guys have always been the best sisters to me...in pain and in agony plus revenge,u guys always stood by me..sometimes u people annoy me with your sarcasm and pure condemn..but im aware that it all derives out of love..i still remember when u guys got very mad cuz i wanna overnite with bobo along with sahur...all of it juz ran close to my heart on how much u guys are concern over me..rite now watching mien sleeping in front me juz make me wanna spank her cuz of all the laughter she brings to me...hahaha!...this woman is crazy i tell u...:))
fara is that calm person who never shows her wildness...NOT!!!...she is not that soft u noe...gosh...whenever she's around...my whole world will tremble..cuz she likes to condemn every inch of a lousy opinion that came outta my mouth...hahahaha!...that is fara...n guess what...she is so cheeky once u get to know her....if mien is the dinosaur..then fara is the wife of that dinosaur..this two people are like T-Rex...juz let them into ur house and they will make u mengekek like org gila....
belum campur WAWI n QIENA lg....
this two pulak is like the grandma n grandpa to the dinosaurs mentioned above...
wawi owned a proton Juara and she always carry us in it..the prob is..we never sit still in that car!..theres always laughter and FART-IN-THE-CAR-JOKES...gosh!..what an embarassment!....qiena...gosh..this girl is that petite one...even wawi's locker is taller than her....(what is spit or written in this blog has nothing to do with the living or the dead-disclaimer)....hahahaha!...
All im trying to say is.....i have the worlds coolest friends..we have a complete family of dinosaurs....with me being the baby dinosaur..ngeeeeeeeeeeeee......
-habis la aku pasni kene belasah ngn bdk 4 ekor tue-
recently i spend shitloads of time with my girlfriends..its fun to know them...we joined mooting together..and even hang out until late in the morning together...
its good to have such a close relationship with friends...when i dont have the cash..they always lend me some..and vice versa.sometimes,..my heart just wants to cry.bcuz i may not know how long such friendship can last..all i can do is just to treasure every moment that passed by with it....
MIEN n FARA...
u guys have always been the best sisters to me...in pain and in agony plus revenge,u guys always stood by me..sometimes u people annoy me with your sarcasm and pure condemn..but im aware that it all derives out of love..i still remember when u guys got very mad cuz i wanna overnite with bobo along with sahur...all of it juz ran close to my heart on how much u guys are concern over me..rite now watching mien sleeping in front me juz make me wanna spank her cuz of all the laughter she brings to me...hahaha!...this woman is crazy i tell u...:))
fara is that calm person who never shows her wildness...NOT!!!...she is not that soft u noe...gosh...whenever she's around...my whole world will tremble..cuz she likes to condemn every inch of a lousy opinion that came outta my mouth...hahahaha!...that is fara...n guess what...she is so cheeky once u get to know her....if mien is the dinosaur..then fara is the wife of that dinosaur..this two people are like T-Rex...juz let them into ur house and they will make u mengekek like org gila....
belum campur WAWI n QIENA lg....
this two pulak is like the grandma n grandpa to the dinosaurs mentioned above...
wawi owned a proton Juara and she always carry us in it..the prob is..we never sit still in that car!..theres always laughter and FART-IN-THE-CAR-JOKES...gosh!..what an embarassment!....qiena...gosh..this girl is that petite one...even wawi's locker is taller than her....(what is spit or written in this blog has nothing to do with the living or the dead-disclaimer)....hahahaha!...
All im trying to say is.....i have the worlds coolest friends..we have a complete family of dinosaurs....with me being the baby dinosaur..ngeeeeeeeeeeeee......
-habis la aku pasni kene belasah ngn bdk 4 ekor tue-
In My Shoes...
what is it?..do i look horrible?....hahahaha....
anyway..i miss this piece of page..its been awhile since i typed something in it..
to be more precise,..its more than a month since i blurt out ANYTHING in it...
theres a few stuff i wanna share....
FIRSTLY......
on debate....
gosh..i missed my practice for two weeks already..im beginning to wonder...am i doing the right thing?..
well....last week i didnt show up cuz i was sick..okey fine..i got a medical letter for that...
but this week....i didnt show up cuz im already at home....owh god!...what am i gonna explain to others..??HELP!!!!...
SECONDLY....
god...i love my boyfriend so much....well....i noe i've been fucking all other bloody feelings i had bout Aizat in this blog...but...every cloud has a silver lining..
i got me self a new boyfriend....he was my old school friend back in Lipis...funny rite..how i can fall in love with person from the same school...last time it was afeeq..now its him....i love my bobo..
THIRDLY....
gosh.....im not fooling around but trust me...this semester im the laziest person ever!!...im the most lazy girl alive....i didnt finish my tutorials...i didnt do my revision like i used to..and.....i SKIPPeD too many classes....HELLPPPP!!.....
anyway..i miss this piece of page..its been awhile since i typed something in it..
to be more precise,..its more than a month since i blurt out ANYTHING in it...
theres a few stuff i wanna share....
FIRSTLY......
on debate....
gosh..i missed my practice for two weeks already..im beginning to wonder...am i doing the right thing?..
well....last week i didnt show up cuz i was sick..okey fine..i got a medical letter for that...
but this week....i didnt show up cuz im already at home....owh god!...what am i gonna explain to others..??HELP!!!!...
SECONDLY....
god...i love my boyfriend so much....well....i noe i've been fucking all other bloody feelings i had bout Aizat in this blog...but...every cloud has a silver lining..
i got me self a new boyfriend....he was my old school friend back in Lipis...funny rite..how i can fall in love with person from the same school...last time it was afeeq..now its him....i love my bobo..
THIRDLY....
gosh.....im not fooling around but trust me...this semester im the laziest person ever!!...im the most lazy girl alive....i didnt finish my tutorials...i didnt do my revision like i used to..and.....i SKIPPeD too many classes....HELLPPPP!!.....
..Boan...
..luahan hati...
saya bukan angel..atau peramal masa hadapn...
saya hanya leslie..seorang gadis yang sewel..pernah patah hati..
dan ingin sekali merasa disayangi..
saya...rasa..hikmah yang muncul disebalik kepatahan hati yang lalu..
membawa saya ke hadapan...
i dont need lovely words to tell me that u love me..
all i want is those words to stay..
when i heard what this heart tells me..
i believe and i listen...
our heart never lies..
kadang2..saya buntu...kenapa dye muncul bile hati ini memerlukan seseorang?..
..kami bukan stranger..kami pernah menjadi kawan...kawan sekolah...(tak akrab pun)..
tapi...sekarang.....kehadiran dye buat saya gembira...saya senyum..buat saya nak berubah....saya ceria...saya sukee..
tapi...saya takot..adakah hanya saya yang ade perasaan mcm niey?..
adakah hanya saya yang mengharap...
...sayang..(kite kene eja mcm niey..dua suku kata)..
..sayang itu indah....
..cantik sangat...sampai boleh melelehkn air mata..
..sekarang...kerana sayang...
..hati yang tak pernah menipu ni dah bersuara..
..suara dye bunyi macam niey..:
..'saya rasa...saya sayang awak...n...saya rasa..mungkin awak orangnyaa'...
puisi di tengah malam gabungan 'saya dan awak'...
Kadang-kadang,bila mimpi terlalu indah…
Kenyataan pula yang menjadi pahit…
Namun,kenyataan tak selalunya pahit..
Untuk memaniskannya..
Kita sendiri harus mencoraknya..
Tapi,ada masanya apabila hati berdoa..
Dan kenyataan tidak mengAminkan..
Maka corak yang terhasil hanya sekadar hiasan di lubuk hati…
Ingatlah…
Hati yang ikhlas dan tulus akan terbinanya kenyataan..
Adakalanya kita hanya meminta..
Tetapi sebaliknya terserah kepada yang Maha Esa..
saya bukan angel..atau peramal masa hadapn...
saya hanya leslie..seorang gadis yang sewel..pernah patah hati..
dan ingin sekali merasa disayangi..
saya...rasa..hikmah yang muncul disebalik kepatahan hati yang lalu..
membawa saya ke hadapan...
i dont need lovely words to tell me that u love me..
all i want is those words to stay..
when i heard what this heart tells me..
i believe and i listen...
our heart never lies..
kadang2..saya buntu...kenapa dye muncul bile hati ini memerlukan seseorang?..
..kami bukan stranger..kami pernah menjadi kawan...kawan sekolah...(tak akrab pun)..
tapi...sekarang.....kehadiran dye buat saya gembira...saya senyum..buat saya nak berubah....saya ceria...saya sukee..
tapi...saya takot..adakah hanya saya yang ade perasaan mcm niey?..
adakah hanya saya yang mengharap...
...sayang..(kite kene eja mcm niey..dua suku kata)..
..sayang itu indah....
..cantik sangat...sampai boleh melelehkn air mata..
..sekarang...kerana sayang...
..hati yang tak pernah menipu ni dah bersuara..
..suara dye bunyi macam niey..:
..'saya rasa...saya sayang awak...n...saya rasa..mungkin awak orangnyaa'...
puisi di tengah malam gabungan 'saya dan awak'...
Kadang-kadang,bila mimpi terlalu indah…
Kenyataan pula yang menjadi pahit…
Namun,kenyataan tak selalunya pahit..
Untuk memaniskannya..
Kita sendiri harus mencoraknya..
Tapi,ada masanya apabila hati berdoa..
Dan kenyataan tidak mengAminkan..
Maka corak yang terhasil hanya sekadar hiasan di lubuk hati…
Ingatlah…
Hati yang ikhlas dan tulus akan terbinanya kenyataan..
Adakalanya kita hanya meminta..
Tetapi sebaliknya terserah kepada yang Maha Esa..
Dear God....
Dear god…
The only thing I ask is for you to hold him when im not around when im much too far away….
Its more than a month since we broke up…anniversary just passed by like a cloud doing its shift…
I looked at today just like I looked at everything else every other day..slightly a little bit different…because I have to bare some pain alone…
A few weeks after the semester starts,my friend…awie ramane, lost her boyfriend..she didn’t ask for it but he did…I saw how she cried and cried and listened to how she felt…its not about how I wanted so much to help…its just that I felt like im hopeless because theres nothing I can do….it bit me to see her cry just as how it bit me when he walked away…
I knew and I understand how she felt…its like your inside is jumping and rummaging as if something is wrong…your chest just go up and down with the desire to burst out!... all I can do at this very moment is just..smile…
Some guys can just act normal after they dumped their girlfriend. They can just pretend nothing happened. They didn’t even text. They didn’t even bother to say sorry. They didn’t even care to send even a ‘hi’..or a ‘hallo’….be it through global network or even handphone’s…They didn’t even bother that we are actually waiting for that one msg or that one call. Some people are born to be different. As for me, I always wanted to be remembered even if im no longer with him…why cant we just be friends?..why cant we act normal??....whats so hard about that…
I’ve been a total jackass to fall for someone who gave me hope in the first place..then he just smashed it like it’s a bloody old glass that’s not useful anymore..
I hate fights and arguing…this is who I am..whenver I made a mistake I tend to find a way and ask for forgiveness….but if love prevails..i may beg him to come back even if he decided to leave…
Aizat..u must have been proud that your name is pestered inside my page.i just wanted you to know that im happy if youre happy. I sulk at first when I read the comments from other person in ur myspace. But I don’t care and I kept telling myself you love me and its just that it didn’t work out between us. I hope that if u read this you can just text me..even its just only to say hi…cuz it will mean a lot to me...
Just as how it meant a lot to you when I accepted you into my life…
The only thing I ask is for you to hold him when im not around when im much too far away….
Its more than a month since we broke up…anniversary just passed by like a cloud doing its shift…
I looked at today just like I looked at everything else every other day..slightly a little bit different…because I have to bare some pain alone…
A few weeks after the semester starts,my friend…awie ramane, lost her boyfriend..she didn’t ask for it but he did…I saw how she cried and cried and listened to how she felt…its not about how I wanted so much to help…its just that I felt like im hopeless because theres nothing I can do….it bit me to see her cry just as how it bit me when he walked away…
I knew and I understand how she felt…its like your inside is jumping and rummaging as if something is wrong…your chest just go up and down with the desire to burst out!... all I can do at this very moment is just..smile…
Some guys can just act normal after they dumped their girlfriend. They can just pretend nothing happened. They didn’t even text. They didn’t even bother to say sorry. They didn’t even care to send even a ‘hi’..or a ‘hallo’….be it through global network or even handphone’s…They didn’t even bother that we are actually waiting for that one msg or that one call. Some people are born to be different. As for me, I always wanted to be remembered even if im no longer with him…why cant we just be friends?..why cant we act normal??....whats so hard about that…
I’ve been a total jackass to fall for someone who gave me hope in the first place..then he just smashed it like it’s a bloody old glass that’s not useful anymore..
I hate fights and arguing…this is who I am..whenver I made a mistake I tend to find a way and ask for forgiveness….but if love prevails..i may beg him to come back even if he decided to leave…
Aizat..u must have been proud that your name is pestered inside my page.i just wanted you to know that im happy if youre happy. I sulk at first when I read the comments from other person in ur myspace. But I don’t care and I kept telling myself you love me and its just that it didn’t work out between us. I hope that if u read this you can just text me..even its just only to say hi…cuz it will mean a lot to me...
Just as how it meant a lot to you when I accepted you into my life…
on the floor..everywhere...
hye!..dear blog..sorry..i was so busy the past weeks to even type anything in here..
im back in uitm...gosh...as usual..very tiring and frustrating...well...firstly.im all excited this semester because nina n awie is in s.alam...hahahaha!..we had shitloads of fun the first week..at the same time we faced a lot of hardworks..i hurt my ankle because me and mien,we had to circle 360 degrees in uitm to settle our JPA scholarship..not fun!!!...totally not fun!!...i had to walk okay!..so now i regret not having any license yet!...
and then..i kinda miss kakak's house..well...rite now i spend a lot of time at her house so basically.this is like my second home...
owh my god....the frustrating part is that my French class starts at 6pm until 8pm...whooaaaa!!...
another frustrating part is......theres rumours bout me being kicked out of my former school MGSS!...thats crap!...thats shitloads of crap!...i was not kicked out of school..my mother transferred me to anor school because i have issues in that school.....i mixed with the wrong companies...but heyy....its not 'buang sekolah laa bodooo!!'.....if i was kicked out of school...i might not be where i am now...
just forget it..my sister said....'ignore the fools,cuz if u dont..u'll be one'...
hehehehehe.....
AIZAT!!!!!!!!!!!!...thanx a lot...because of u...my friends told me that i looked slimmer then last semester...(due to broken heartedness)..thanx guys!!..great compliment...huhuuu....
this semester, i joined debate....wish me luck!!......
im back in uitm...gosh...as usual..very tiring and frustrating...well...firstly.im all excited this semester because nina n awie is in s.alam...hahahaha!..we had shitloads of fun the first week..at the same time we faced a lot of hardworks..i hurt my ankle because me and mien,we had to circle 360 degrees in uitm to settle our JPA scholarship..not fun!!!...totally not fun!!...i had to walk okay!..so now i regret not having any license yet!...
and then..i kinda miss kakak's house..well...rite now i spend a lot of time at her house so basically.this is like my second home...
owh my god....the frustrating part is that my French class starts at 6pm until 8pm...whooaaaa!!...
another frustrating part is......theres rumours bout me being kicked out of my former school MGSS!...thats crap!...thats shitloads of crap!...i was not kicked out of school..my mother transferred me to anor school because i have issues in that school.....i mixed with the wrong companies...but heyy....its not 'buang sekolah laa bodooo!!'.....if i was kicked out of school...i might not be where i am now...
just forget it..my sister said....'ignore the fools,cuz if u dont..u'll be one'...
hehehehehe.....
AIZAT!!!!!!!!!!!!...thanx a lot...because of u...my friends told me that i looked slimmer then last semester...(due to broken heartedness)..thanx guys!!..great compliment...huhuuu....
this semester, i joined debate....wish me luck!!......
..today..
..today..among any other days of my life..
i managed to do sumthing which i felt so proud of doing...
i deleted Aizat's photo from my blog..i deleted his messages in my phone..
i deleted his photos in my phone..and..i felt relieved...
i hope he knows that i still love him...but now i have nothing to do with him anymore..i hope he is happy with his life and whoever he is with..im sure he too..must have moved on..i swallowed hard thinking of the little time i had with him..i hope that it should have been longer..
trying not to feel broken hearted i always busied myself with unnecessary stuff..
maybe its his way of not replying my msg..or maybe he has many other things on his mind rather than being bothered bout his ex..
hahahahaha!..
i feel so stupid...ye la..cam bodo je kowt mengharap kat lelaki..
kalau dapat benefit takpe jugak..
ape laa aku niey..kenape nak tunggu...
bazir jee...bukan dye kisah pun kowt...aishh...
sumwhere..somehow...i think he is close to someone else in his global network..
hahahaha!...laugh out loud leslie...its time to stay awake...
Aizat is no longer in your extended network.....:))
i managed to do sumthing which i felt so proud of doing...
i deleted Aizat's photo from my blog..i deleted his messages in my phone..
i deleted his photos in my phone..and..i felt relieved...
i hope he knows that i still love him...but now i have nothing to do with him anymore..i hope he is happy with his life and whoever he is with..im sure he too..must have moved on..i swallowed hard thinking of the little time i had with him..i hope that it should have been longer..
trying not to feel broken hearted i always busied myself with unnecessary stuff..
maybe its his way of not replying my msg..or maybe he has many other things on his mind rather than being bothered bout his ex..
hahahahaha!..
i feel so stupid...ye la..cam bodo je kowt mengharap kat lelaki..
kalau dapat benefit takpe jugak..
ape laa aku niey..kenape nak tunggu...
bazir jee...bukan dye kisah pun kowt...aishh...
sumwhere..somehow...i think he is close to someone else in his global network..
hahahaha!...laugh out loud leslie...its time to stay awake...
Aizat is no longer in your extended network.....:))
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